Jury Duty Sucks

On Tuesday, I had to go to jury duty for the first time. I had previously received a summons but was still attending school. Since school ended the Friday before, I had to actually go this time. My main fear was parking. I rarely go downtown and had no idea where any of the three parking lots were. I asked around and, after a few explanations and drawings, felt reasonably confident that I could make it.
I left early and made it to the close parking lot. My mom warned me that the spots were very narrow and I now think that an understatement. I slowly maneuvered through that bumpy, muddy lot and squeezed precariously between two long pickup trucks. It wasn’t the best spot but it beat my alternative: an even more narrow spot with a wet tree branch hanging over it, drooping to within maybe three feet of the ground. With Les Misérables in hand, went for my very first time into the courthouse. I made it through the metal dectector but then had to open my book for inspection. I realize it’s a thick book but I never really thought about it as a deadly weapon. After determining that I did not, in fact, have a gun hidden in Hugo, the security guard let me go on my way.

I went in and, after a brief wait in line, gave my piece of paper to the county clerk. I must note that she was a very nice lady. I also picked up the piece of paper that, after signing, would become my ticket to that glorious $6 juror pay.

I sat back down, the Honorable Cynthia Kent came on down, and things started to happen. They needed three panels on Tuesday. They called out the names for the first panel. Clear! Then they called out a very long list for the second panel. Clear again! Then they announced that the last panel would be only 15 people. They would be dismissed immediately but have to be in Winona (a tiny little town about 45 minutes away) at 2:00. They called out the first half dozen names. I was almost home free. Then, it happened: Kirk Lennon. Looking like I’d just been sentenced to die, I went up to the front to get my slip of paper with driving directions. Make no mistake, I pouted the entire time.

I made it to my car and carefully backed out. It was nothing short of terrifying. I went to my mom’s work and pouted some more. She bought me lunch.
I then picked up Fiona and we went to TJC to drop off her application. She’s taking a class there this summer. Then we went to Wienerland and bought chili dogs and fries. We ate them, I dropped her off, and then I drove to Winona.
I have never driven to Winona before. We used to have some family friends that lived out there but we have not been to their house in something like a decade. So ended my experience with Winona. I followed the directions and made it there. I walked in and was told I was #4. Crap.

I sat down in this tiny room with the other 15 panelists, the defendents and plaintiffs, plus their witnesses. Cozy, too cozy. The plaintiffs were suing to evict this horrible white trash family from their appartment complex. There were no lawyers present. Apparently, in Texas, you can get a jury trial for anything. You need only pay $5, and you get that back if you win. The plaintiffs (the managers of the appartments) didn’t know there was to be a jury.

Voir dire is a legal procedure in which both sides get to question the jury to decide any biases, prejudices or other factors negative to their cases. The amateurish process in this case was quite short. Each side, in this trial, was allowed to strike any three jurors for any reason. I had a good feeling that, since I am 20 and everyone else was considerably older, I would stand out and be eliminated. Alas, I was not. They take the first six jurors left after voir dire. As juror #4, I was screwed.

I won’t go into the details of the case, mainly because they were horribly boring, but I will note that the Justice of the Peace’s cell phone went off during the trial.
We the jury received our charge and went into the JP’s office to deliberate. It was unanimous for the plaintiffs. That horrible family has until Monday to get out.
I finally made it back home at exactly 5:00, over nine hours after I left. Oh, I felt bad that day too. I had some sinus issues that started on Sunday and I’m just now almost completely over. Unfortunately, they were not bad enough to warrant pleading a hardship.

In summary, I really hate jury duty. I really didn’t want to complain about my first experience becaues I was hoping for a real learning opportunity. Unfortunately, I did not get to see a single lawyer and I didn’t learn any new legal terms. I’m rather vexed about it.

Heroism and Movies and School

On Saturday I bought the movie Big Fish. I didn’t get a chance to watch it, however, until last night, when I went to Fiona’s to watch it. Towards the end, she went into her room and I heard a somewhat muted scream. Not the kind of OMG a crazed killer with a bloody knife in one hand and the head of my neighbor in another–rather the kind when you see a weird insect. Specifically, it was a Scutigera coleoptrata, better known as the “house centipede.” I bravely grabbed a shoe and started my attack. It scurried along the floor and hid behind some stuff in her closet. Cautiously, I moved aside the fortifications and made my final attack. Swat after swat and some crushing finally defeated the monster. My heroic efforts surely saved a life; I’m proud. It was the freakiest looking thing I’ve seen in a long time. I must admit, I checked the floor a lot the rest of the evening.

In vaguely related news, I bought another movie today: Peter Pan. I saw in in theaters and was entranced. It really is an excellent movie. I particularly love the guiltless arrogance of Peter. How can one help liking something so sublimely joyful? The story is just so overhwelmingly happy, but not at all sappy. I also love a movie with really good bad guys. Pirates somehow seem the best baddies. My all time favorite is Dennis Hopper in Waterworld. It may be a Kevin Costner (aka bomb factory) movie but Hopper’s character is just so deliciously evil!

My parents bought The Last Samurai today. I’ve not yet seen it but I hear good things. I shall promtly report my findings, since I know I have thousands of devout fans whose every purchase is based solely on my awesome word.

I have my final exam tomorrow in World Literature Though the Renaissance. This exam will cover The Song of Roland and Macbeth. It will also have a small portion on the movie Scotland, Pa., which we watched because it is a modern adaptation of Macbeth. The movie was actually really good and I am considering buying it. It moves the setting from medieval Scotland to a hamburger stand in 1970s Pennsylvania. The transition works surprisingly well. I wrote a possibly excellent paper on the similarities and differences between the film and the play. I should probably actually finish reading the play before I take my exam tomorrow. In fact, I will now offer my essay. Maybe some student can plagerize it and get kicked out of school. It wouldn’t be the first time my words have ended up in someone else’s paper. I’m proud of that!

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