My grandmother called to wish me a happy birthday at 7:30 this morning. Incidentally, today is also her birthday, so I returned the warm wishes. I finally got back to sleep around nine. My mom, planning on giving me more time to sleep, waited until 9:30 to call. That’s OK though.

I finally got out of bed and spent the first part of my day doing very little. I didn’t even get around to eating (a sandwich) until two. Chad got home at three and Jessica came over after she got off work, about an hour later. We all went to Olive Garden because I’ve been craving their salad for a couple of weeks. Then we went to the mall and bought our tickets for 300, the next showing of which was not for another hour and a half. We wondered around the mall, spending a great deal of time in a GameStop before meandering back to the theater to watch the movie. It was amazing, and a great way to spend my birthday. Then Chad and I watched some Futurama while I ate my leftovers from dinner (filled up on too much salad, as planned) and ice cream. And now I’m tired and ready to sleep. All in all, a fine day.

The Satyricon, Chapter 5, Lines 8 Through 17
Therefore, I carefully clothed myself, forgetful of all evils, and we bid Giton very willingly servile duty guarded to follow into the bath. Meanwhile we, having been clothed, began to wonder, rather than jest more, and to approach a group of people, suddenly we saw a bald old man, having been clothed in a reddish tunic, playing amond long-haired boys with a ball. Although the long-haired boys were worth looking at, and not as much as the father of the family, who wearing sandals, was exercising himself with the green ball, had led to the sight. Nor was he seeking the ball longer, which had touched the ground, but having been full of the ball, they gave up playing.

And here is the original version, in Latin:
amicimur ergo diligenter obliti omnium malorum, et Gitona libentissime servile officium tuentem iubemus in balneum sequi. nos interim vestiti errare coepimus, immo iocari magis et circulis ludentium accedere, cum subito videmus senem calvum, tunica vestitum russea, inter pueros capillatos ludentum pila. nec tam pueri nos, quamquam erat operae pretium, ad spectaculum duxerant, quam ipse pater familiae, qui soleatus pila prasina exercebatur. nec amplius eam repetebat quae terram contigerat, sed follem plenum habebat servus sufficiebatque ludentibus.

I went in and, after a brief wait in line, gave my piece of paper to the county clerk. I must note that she was a very nice lady. I also picked up the piece of paper that, after signing, would become my ticket to that glorious $6 juror pay.

I sat back down, the Honorable Cynthia Kent came on down, and things started to happen. They needed three panels on Tuesday. They called out the names for the first panel. Clear! Then they called out a very long list for the second panel. Clear again! Then they announced that the last panel would be only 15 people. They would be dismissed immediately but have to be in Winona (a tiny little town about 45 minutes away) at 2:00. They called out the first half dozen names. I was almost home free. Then, it happened: Kirk Lennon. Looking like I’d just been sentenced to die, I went up to the front to get my slip of paper with driving directions. Make no mistake, I pouted the entire time.

I made it to my car and carefully backed out. It was nothing short of terrifying. I went to my mom’s work and pouted some more. She bought me lunch.
I then picked up Fiona and we went to TJC to drop off her application. She’s taking a class there this summer. Then we went to Wienerland and bought chili dogs and fries. We ate them, I dropped her off, and then I drove to Winona.
I have never driven to Winona before. We used to have some family friends that lived out there but we have not been to their house in something like a decade. So ended my experience with Winona. I followed the directions and made it there. I walked in and was told I was #4. Crap.

I sat down in this tiny room with the other 15 panelists, the defendents and plaintiffs, plus their witnesses. Cozy, too cozy. The plaintiffs were suing to evict this horrible white trash family from their appartment complex. There were no lawyers present. Apparently, in Texas, you can get a jury trial for anything. You need only pay $5, and you get that back if you win. The plaintiffs (the managers of the appartments) didn’t know there was to be a jury.

Voir dire is a legal procedure in which both sides get to question the jury to decide any biases, prejudices or other factors negative to their cases. The amateurish process in this case was quite short. Each side, in this trial, was allowed to strike any three jurors for any reason. I had a good feeling that, since I am 20 and everyone else was considerably older, I would stand out and be eliminated. Alas, I was not. They take the first six jurors left after voir dire. As juror #4, I was screwed.

I won’t go into the details of the case, mainly because they were horribly boring, but I will note that the Justice of the Peace’s cell phone went off during the trial.
We the jury received our charge and went into the JP’s office to deliberate. It was unanimous for the plaintiffs. That horrible family has until Monday to get out.
I finally made it back home at exactly 5:00, over nine hours after I left. Oh, I felt bad that day too. I had some sinus issues that started on Sunday and I’m just now almost completely over. Unfortunately, they were not bad enough to warrant pleading a hardship.

In summary, I really hate jury duty. I really didn’t want to complain about my first experience becaues I was hoping for a real learning opportunity. Unfortunately, I did not get to see a single lawyer and I didn’t learn any new legal terms. I’m rather vexed about it.